Don’t Wait For Your Purpose To Find You. Iterate.
Apparently life is short. I disagree. Many reading this are likely to live beyond one hundred years old.
The impossibility of certainty, and the complexity of action.
It’s a recent phenomenon, to be afforded the luxury of previously unthinkable lengths of time on earth and the freedom to decide what to do with it. In the most literal sense we spend roughly a third of each day working from teenage to twilight years. That’s a lot of years. Depending on how fulfilling we foresee those years to be, we can either be daunted by them or excited for them.
A strong sense of purpose, the ability to envision how we will make our mark, helps but understanding ourselves in that regard is easier said than done. Everyone wants to discover their purpose and do meaningful work, but we don’t know what that looks like to us or know where to look. We’ve been sold a Hollywood version of purpose finding us — a lightbulb flicking on above our heads, an unlikely epiphany whilst staggering from pillar to post in life.
I reckon it’s bullshit.
“What do you want to be when you grow up?” — adults to young you, probably.
When you were a child, you were probably asked what you wanted to be when you grow up. It’s a trick question posed by adults. Now that I’m a fully-fledged adult (apparently), I’m more concerned with who I want to be when I grow up. This self-awareness in identifying what drives us, and what doesn’t, is the first step in fulfilling ourselves with purpose.
Most of us seemingly feel like we’ve lost it, have never found it, or know it but are not living it. I’d argue that this introspection is fundamental to the process. Purpose is not an endgame that can be achieved. Rather an infinite process of iteration. A feedback loop of testing, learning, and iterating — either consciously or unconsciously. Long term, it’ll likely evolve. The world changes, and so do we.
Aim for progress over perfection.
Purpose is in the eye of the beholder.
One trap that’s easy to fall into is thinking that a purpose has to be as grandiose as saving lives or changing the world. Frankly, not everyone can do that nor should it be demanded of them. All work has the potential to be imbued with meaning.
A labourer might view their honest day’s work of laying bricks as repetitive and unrewarding. By stepping back to view the full picture each brick becomes incremental progress towards a family home. The labourer might decide that providing a place to create family memories is their purpose. Suddenly those bricks feel lighter. It’s incredibly motivating. Your purpose isn’t your job, but your job may help you exercise your purpose.
Sure, the realities of life are going to collide with our purpose at times. Progress is rarely a straight line, but zig and zags. It’s an iterative process to understand our identities and our influence on the world around us. At the very least knowing what drives us offers another angle from which to view the decisions we have to make, leading to better decision-making and greater personal fulfilment. Each iteration of purpose gets tested by our decisions and actions, and we learn more about ourselves in the process. We then make better-informed decisions about how we spend our time.
Once aware of your own purpose, be intentional with it.
I’m incredibly fortunate that my work rarely feels like work. Most days I wake up feeling energised and finish the day satisfied, but I’d never really thought of why I felt that way. However, I felt I was in something of purpose-limbo recently. I was reactively questioning what I was doing — the first couple of months of the year had been tough for a number of reasons — and I just wasn’t enjoying myself. I decided to block off a couple of hours in my calendar, shut everything down and just think about my own journey so far.
After some self-reflection I landed on a strange realisation that I’d been sleepwalking, stumbling in the dark trying to find fulfilment. Looking back and connecting the dots I discovered that the most rewarding moments were when I’d lifted others up by bringing them an opportunity that they either couldn’t source or seize on their own. It was a revelation. I hadn’t ever thought about this before, let alone articulated it, let alone consciously carved a path that gave me opportunities to exercise it.
Having greater clarity and understanding of purpose has made me more intentional with my time. I’m now consciously testing what I think is my purpose like a hypothesis to learn more and iterate based on the results. I’m just as likely to be wrong as I am right, but I’ll be able to meaningfully course-correct either way.
I’d recommend everyone dedicate some time to reflect on their own purpose — unexpectedly, it turned out to be the most valuable time I’ve spent so far this year.
Final thoughts.
During this process, I came across a Chinese proverb that struck a chord: “the best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now.” Some are lucky to gain a firm understanding of their purpose from a young age. Others may realise later in life.
Either way, the sooner you have an idea of your purpose the sooner you can start testing it and iterating towards it.